There was once a nymph named Narcissus, who thought himself very delicious; so he stared like a fool, at his face in a pool, and his folly today is still with us.
Let’s be real: the constant tug we feel to wallow in self-worship is relentless. We definitely need God’s help to gain selflessness.
Does “Selflessness” Mean I Ignore Myself?
In Matthew 22, Jesus tells us that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves. But in doing so, He places the emphasis on treating others as well as we, ourselves, would like to be treated. Agape love, the kind of love Jesus perfectly modeled for us, seeks to notice and act on the needs of others. Easier said than done? Too often! Our pesky human nature loves to focus on self.
Thankfully, God knows that our developing the habit of selflessness is a daily, life-long process. That in some moments we’ll hit the mark, and in others we’ll utterly fail. God “gets” that it’s impossible for us to be selfless 100 percent of the time — though Mother Teresa may have gotten close! The truth: We’ll only be perfected when we get to the other side. But we can commit to allowing God to work on our selflessness now.
We must get past our own interests, if we’re to interest our self-absorbed world in the transforming love of Christ.
When we willingly set aside our plans and desires, and pursue being of service to others, we are being selfless in the way the Bible asks us to be. “Love cannot remain by itself, it has no meaning,” noted Mother Teresa. “Love has to be put into action, and that action is service.”
Demonstrating Selflessness, Jesus-Style
Mother Teresa put it exactly right. We can’t “hope” or “envision” a better world, or even “send good thoughts into the universe,” and expect the world to right itself. Positivity and hope and vision don’t accomplish anything unless they’re accompanied by action. And action without love doesn’t really represent Jesus.
Our perfect role model, Jesus poured Himself out extravagantly. He went out of His way to be inconvenienced, to be compassionate. He treated the marginalized and ignored with kindness and respect, and in so doing reminded them that they matter. Every single one of us is so important to Jesus that He died to make it crystal clear.
Three ways to mirror Jesus’ selflessness:
1. Study up on verses in the Bible that ask us to serve. Like Joyce, we’ll find that meditating on them drives them deep into our hearts. And where our heart goes, so go our thoughts and actions.
Here’s just one verse, found in 1 John 3:16-18: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
2. Choose to go about our day feeling grateful for what Christ has done, and continues to do, for us.
Again, this is way different than purposing to have a “positive mindset.” Positivity too easily evaporates when we step into our own bad circumstances. But when our joy is based on our trusting God’s goodness, even in dire circumstances, our positive outlook has staying power. “I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart,” go the song lyrics. I don’t know about you, but even humming that song puts me in a joyful mindset. When we’re joyful, we’ll naturally spill joy on others.
3. Ask God to open our eyes to the needs of others.
And when our eyes are opened, let’s go. Again, some days we will utterly fail. But let’s dust ourselves off, get back on the horse, and ask for another chance to serve as the solution for another’s need.
Love, wrote Mother Teresa, is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.
