Today, we are bombarded by a constant stream of noise from phone notifications, opinions, ads, and voices telling us what to do and how to improve every aspect of our lives. But instead of helping, the nonstop nature of the information age leaves us more exhausted, distracted, and dissatisfied than ever. More importantly, it leaves us prone to pursue unhealthy behaviors. The data doesn’t lie.
Recent 2025 data revealed that thirty-eight percent of adults reported overeating or eating unhealthy foods to cope with stress. Eighty percent of individuals went shopping and splurged to boost their mood. Over half of practicing Christians regularly turned to watch porn. These behavioral trends tell us something important.
Related: How can We Know Who to Trust in The Age of Voice Overload?
It’s easier to live on autopilot than to seek to discern God’s voice of truth of how He wants us to live. It’s less work to live in a state of distraction and busyness than to seek the truth of why we do what we don’t want to do and why we struggle to live into God’s ways for our lives. Perhaps part of that is we are afraid of the truth we would find were we to truly investigate what our unhealthy behaviors reveal about the state of our souls. By blocking out the noise and slowing down long enough to explore some of these issues, we will discover a better way–a way that helps us align our lives with God’s ways.
Unhealthy Behaviors aren’t Random
The reality is that our unhealthy behaviors aren’t random, they’re signs of something deeper. To say it differently, our unwanted thoughts and behaviors have a cause, and we must discover the cause if we want to experience freedom.
Traditionally, we as Christians have talked extensively of how our unhealthy behaviors are a result of being born with a sinful nature. This aspect of truth has been elevated, while neglecting other aspects of truth in this equation, leading to an overwhelming voice that blames every problem in our lives our own sinful nature. And yet, what has often been missed is that the Bible reveals additional things that factor into our unhealthy behaviors. Namely, the influence of brokenness we experience in relationships, both in the past and in the present.
Unhealthy Behaviors Point to Deeper Longings
God creates every human with desires—or heart longings—that drive everything we do. The Bible lists seven including our need to be accepted (Romans 15:7), appreciated (2 Timothy 1:3-5), the assurance of safety (2 Thessalonians 3:3), and the affirmation of our feelings (Romans 12:15). These are very real needs that God created us to have satisfied, especially in the formative years of our life. When fulfilled, these things help us to believe deep down that we are loved and valuable, that we are safe, and that people will be there for us.
These longings drive everything we do. All of our thoughts and behaviors, whether for good or for bad, flow from these heart longings (Proverbs 4:23). When we are unable to find healthy ways to fulfill these longings in our relationships, or when these longings are outright rejected by others through things such as hurtful or abusive words or actions, we turn to unhealthy or unwanted behaviors. We can succumb to living distracted in search of endless dopamine fixes to escape the pain in our souls.
Watch: The Foundation of a Thriving Life – The Seven Longings Part 1
My Own Story with Unhealthy Behaviors
I’ve experienced this first-hand. Growing up, I experienced manipulation, threats, abuse, and rage from my father, while my mother didn’t intervene and took my dad’s side. I experienced bullying and name-calling at school. I carried a deep sense that I didn’t belong anywhere and that I was worthless. I became addicted to porn, food, and thrill-seeking behaviors. When life felt too much to bear, I’d turn inward, get depressed, and struggled with suicidal thoughts. These patterns continued into adulthood until I started to explore their cause and find what I was truly longing for. It was only then that God started to bring true healing and freedom to my life.
Our unhealthy behaviors aren’t random; they’re signs of something deeper.
We see this throughout the entire Bible:
- In Genesis 3, after sinning against God, Adam and Eve were naked and afraid so they hid.
- In 1 Samuel 21-24, David had unmet longings for safety leading to anxiety when Saul was seeking to kill him.
- In Job 3, Job had unmet longings after losing his family, health, and wealth. He felt so depressed, he wished he had never been born.
You may see this in your own life when you:
- Cope through overspending when you fear for your safety or worry about your future.
- Escape to entertainment when you feel overwhelmed by commitments and responsibilities.
- Perform for the approval of others when you feel unwanted or unknown.
- Watch porn to find pseudo-acceptance or love when you feel rejected or inadequate.
May we start questioning our unhealthy behaviors, rather than simply condemning our unhealthy behaviors. As everything we do flows from our hearts (Proverbs 4:23), may we start questioning how our hearts have been wounded in this fallen world and what we might be coping with.
God invites us to begin to shed our unwanted behaviors as we look deeper at our unmet longings. We can find true acceptance, appreciation, and safety as we reach out, become vulnerable, and connect with God and others. Said another way, we can find what will truly satisfy our souls as we live into God’s ways for our lives.
To go deeper in understanding your story and why you struggle with specific unhealthy behaviors, pick up our book Free To Thrive.
For more resources on healing and overcoming sin, check out our initiative called Resolution Movement.
